


Lover, please stay

by alextheghostdrummer



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, Minor miluca
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24540397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alextheghostdrummer/pseuds/alextheghostdrummer
Summary: months after being realesed from captivity and losing his memory, alex finds out the truth about michael and maria
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Kudos: 78
Collections: Home in your arms





	Lover, please stay

**Author's Note:**

> this one shot is... a bit angsty to say the least BUT is yet another self-indulgent fic  
> hope you don't get too mad at me

“You did what?”

Michael gulps at sight before him: Alex with his wide brown eyes and hands bracing his beautiful hips almost distract him from his angry expression, one that he is at fault for unleashing. He lowers his head, looking at his own feet as if below them words could be formed, indicating him what would be more appropriate to utter at this moment. Before he can gather thoughts from the chaos in his brain, the airman continues:

“So you lied to me, for months after Flint let me go you-“

“I didn’t lie”, he interrupts, his voice soft but his tone is stern

“Oh, pardon me, you failed to mention that after Caulfield, an alien prison that destroyed itself, courtesy of my homicidal family that killed and tortured your kind, your people, I went to you and asked if we could talk about us and you instead went to one of my best friends who you-“, he stops, trying to brace his own erratic breathing, “who you were in a relationship with for months, who you had chosen”, he finishes, pained by his own words.

Silence sets as an impending threat. And Michael seems to be waiting for it to consume him and destroy him. He waits for the luring silence to pry Alex out of his hands, to make him leave once and for all. 

I’m sorry, Alex”  
The other man huffs a laugh, bitter and sarcastic and Michael wishes he didn’t feel as annoyed as he does at this moment. All of this was about his mistake, his responsibility, but then again, Alex’s speech about sharing feelings and being mature seemed to have collapsed on itself the moment he broke that sarcastic grin.

“What’s so funny?”, he inquires exasperated 

“It’s just ironic, really”

Before the cowboy can go further with his questioning, Alex carries on with his monologue: “How you told me all of this and in your words, and your past self apparently, you were ‘tired of all the lies’”, he makes air quotations, “you told me all about Isobel, Max, the cave, your pods, your mom, Noah, the sociopathic alien. Even covering up Rosa’s and the other girls’s murders but you failed to mention this one thing. Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”, he answers.

Now, what he really wanted to say was: "are you fucking dumb? Because of what’s happening right now" but he settles for answering his question with another question. 

“Enlighten me, will you?”, asks the Manes man, bitterly

“Well, Alex because I was afraid you would leave again”, he answers trying to keep the emotion that comes with this statement closed tight inside his gut.

“So instead you manipulated me into staying”, he retorts

“I didn’t manipulate you!”, he cries out, “I- If I did I’m sorry, I didn’t want to do that, I was fucking terrified, Alex” the alien dismantles his knotted hands to clean his own spilling tears, “I had just got you back, I was afraid you were going to leave me again. I was going to tell you soon-“

“No you weren’t, Guerin. You were so not going to do that. Isobel just got tired of your stalling so she looked at you and said, dead in the eyes, ‘you have to tell him’ and you just looked at her like you were about to explode her brains out of her skull”

“Because it was not her place! It’s our business, she couldn’t have stuck her nose in someone else’s business like that” he utters aguishly 

“You do realize you sound borderline hypocritical, right? And you are not anyone Michael, you’re her brother. Besides, you know damn well she was protecting us from your bullshit”, he states, “I don’t know whether to be angry or sad. Or maybe just disappointed. Either way, it just hurts the same”

“I never meant to hurt you, Alex”, his pleading eyes are now red, angry at himself

“But you did it anyways. It was bound to happen; it’s just how it is. We are people, we hurt each other. I’ll hurt you, probably, even if I don’t mean to. But the thing is, more than anything, I’m mad at myself for putting you on a pedestal again, saying you wouldn’t lie to me like you did, that you wouldn’t hurt me. I forgot you are just a person”

“Please don’t say what I think you are going to say”, Michael is now, with his whole body and mind, pleading

“Why did you go to her?” he asks, his tone woeful

“What?” he whispers, puzzled

As Alex is about to repeat himself, Michael starts:

“I don’t know” he laughs pitifully, letting tears stream down his face, “I guess I thought it was what I wanted. All I did was snap, and all you did was runaway, or so I thought. I thought all we did was hurt each other and I needed an escape.”, he takes his shirt to wipe his eyes and nose, “But then you stayed”, he turns to Alex, the cowboy’s grin is a bittersweet vision, “you stayed and kept on staying and I tried to convince myself that the fact that we were apart was for the best… that you deserved better. I tried to push you away again but you kept on coming back, and fuck, deep down I was so happy you did. And it was selfish. All of it”, he concludes

“I don’t wanna keep doing this, Michael”, Alex says warily 

The otherworldly man is almost letting out a heart-wrenching, hellish sob, when his beloved continues “I don’t want you to think that I’m going to leave you every time we fight or every time you make a mistake. I don’t want you to think that I’m looking for excuses to leave”, he held his hand, both of them trembling, “but I also don’t want to be suspicious of you, waiting for you to lie to me, distrusting your every word. I need you to be honest with me. We need to trust each other for this to work, and heaven only knows how badly I want this to work, Michael.”

Michael tightens his grip on Alex’s hand in compliance. Truthfully, he wishes he could hold him, kiss him dearly, he knows, although their silent promise to work better at being in a relationship, his touches won’t be welcomed right now. 

“I’m gonna need some time. A part, I mean. We’re still together, if you want-“

“Alex, of cour-“

“Please, just let me finish”, the airman asks softly, his grip as endearing as his eyes “, If you want to, but I need space to process this whole ordeal, so no calling or texting for a while, please”  
Michael nods, another silent agreement.

“When I feel better, you’re taking me out on a date as an apology” Alex states, with an arch expression, even though, he means every word 

“Noted”, the cowboy smiles “I love you, Alex. I know it’s not the best time to say it but I do”

“I love you too”

**Author's Note:**

> oof  
> btw the title is from a song called "Lover, Please Stay" from Nothing But Thieves


End file.
